Dad You're Wrong is a podcast about contentious situations that we all get ourselves into with friends, family members, coworkers, etc where it is tricky to try to break down what they are saying, and what the philosophical underpinnings of their statements are in order to be able to identify the concerns and raise them in a way to maximize your odds of being understood and maybe move the situation in a positive direction while minimizing all the ways it can go horribly wrong. With the recent rise of the phrase "Okay Boomer" it highlights the space that we attempt to fill. Dad You're Wrong is about getting better at the conversations you have while you still have hope in the utility of the conversation. It is the conversations before you resign yourself to just saying "Okay Boomer."
Just like "Boomer" in "Okay Boomer" isn't limited to folks in the Boomer generation and is not referring to all members of that generation, the "Dad" in "Dad You're Wrong" is also not exclusively "Dads", nor is it referring to "All Dads." As an example, in the first episode that will be dropping later in the month, Chicory explains a scene where they are at a gaming table at a convention and the storyteller was the "Dad" of the situation. He said and did some problematic things which our hosts discuss, dissect and consider how we can think of these situations in the future and what actions we can take when we find ourselves in similar situations. He is not a literal dad, but is the main conversation target that we keep in mind. We think there is a chance we could have a productive conversation with, but it will be tricky, and we will need to pull them with us every step of the way. The Ur-Dad of our show is similar to some of our familiar Dads from sitcoms. Our goal is to help our listeners communicate effectively in the face of resistance and these folks can be any gender, age, or family status. Sometimes we will even discover that a host may have been the "Dad" in the situation.
To start with Dad You're Wrong will be delivered monthly and I'm hoping to get the first episode delivered this month. If you want to make sure to get an email notification when the first Dad You're Wrong episode is published, join the mailing list by sending an email to dadyourewrong@gmail.com stating you want to be added to the mailing list. Also, if you have Dad You're Wrong situations you would like us to discuss, feel free to drop us a message about that too. We are starting off with personal experiences but would love to branch out into helping listeners with their situations as well.
I am not one of the hosts. Those parts are played by Chicory and Zero, two very authentic humans who bring a lot to the table and balance each other very well. I am the producer so I am doing a lot of the behind the scenes work including but not limited to scheduling, initial topic framing, editing, producing, publishing, compiling show notes, handling social media, marketing, and other such things. I'm learning a lot and I appreciate your patience and grace with this initial foray into the field. I expect that quality will improve over time but also that these initial episodes will provide value to a lot of people over time.
Sunday, November 10, 2019
October 2019 Accountability Report: Time / Effort
This month I played around a bit with my Time / Effort axis of my commitment. I started hour measuring and reporting weekly in order to be closer to being on track and to give folks more updates about the commitment I was struggling with. During week three I had a conversation with my partner that caused me to reflect on the ways that my conceptualization of this commitment might be problematic. I haven't come to solid conclusions about the issues with the conceptualization but I did provide a blog post about how my process was going to change going forward.
To that end, I have decided to simply report on the work that was done and make goals for the following month. We can then check in about the status of those goals monthly. There will be a relationship between my goals and time but being more abstract it will help me to treat myself humanely regarding misses and show up more authentically from a human place I want to cultivate in myself.
This month I really started getting the podcast pieces together. I got my Mac back and started learning audio editing. I read through Pat Flynn's free podcasting guide and got a birds-eye view of the process and necessary steps. The first episode is shaping up well and I've been working both on the episode, the infrastructure for the podcast and the pipeline for getting episodes through from start to finish more efficiently in the future. There are a lot of steps to producing a podcast and I'm learning a lot but it is really slow going. I set up an email for the project and a mailing list. If you know you want to receive an email when we launch our first episode, you can send an email to dadyourewrong@gmail.com and I'll make sure you get added. It will be low frequency and easy to unsubscribe from if you change your mind.
Project for Awesome is coming up again and this year I want to show up in a powerful way. This month I was looking into research for Raices. Their services are focused in Texas however, and although Texas has great need and Raices is an excellent organization that I frequently support monetarily, I think that selecting a nonprofit that serves immigrants nationwide may have broader appeal with the Project for Awesome audience and thus increase the odds of getting funded. So this year I am going to make a video for Freedom for Immigrants' National Bond Fund.
My mom and I have been thinking about the ways in which we see community, how it is similar and different from how other people conceptualize it. We think that there are strengths that arose from our circumstances that are not well represented in the self-help space and that the self-help space in general focuses too little on the role of community in their purview. We have fallen off on some of our conversations but we did meet once in October and it really renewed my interest in the project.
At time of writing this we already voted but it technically happened in November so I'll be writing more about this in the next Accountability report. One thing that I did do within the bounds of October though was watch the Democratic Presidential Debate. I do feel like each additional debate is yielding fewer returns as far as knowledge about the candidates but with such a large field I also feel like I haven't gotten to a point where I can conceptualize each of them uniquely and fairly so I really appreciate the debates as an opportunity to drive home my feelings about different candidates, both my appreciation and my concerns.
I've been trying to get back into micro-volunteering as a way to use spare moments here and there or times when ill to make the world better, even in small ways. Here are a few that I've been working on in October:
- Free Rice: Allows you to practice your vocabulary (or other subjects) and, for correct answers, uses ad revenue to donate rice to the United Nations World Food Programme
- The Hunger Site: Actually a collection of sites that you can visit once per day and ad revenue goes to support. I click through all the sites except the autism site because as an autistic person I am skeptical of the way that the money is being used. I know they have the best of intentions but there are a lot of work being done to autistic people that is quite harmful.
This month my blog posts were entirely about accountability. I think that by changing the format of my Time and Effort commitment I should have more time and energy instead of spending so much of it bean counting and reporting. I think these monthly posts are still helpful and I think this new goals focus will help a lot.
From above:
Additionally:
I have set some pretty ambitious goals for myself. It likely won't all get done but having goals will help me stay focused and moving forward. It will provide me motivation and incentive on days when it is hard to make myself work on this. If you've read all this, please let me know in the comments which project you are most excited to see more of.
To that end, I have decided to simply report on the work that was done and make goals for the following month. We can then check in about the status of those goals monthly. There will be a relationship between my goals and time but being more abstract it will help me to treat myself humanely regarding misses and show up more authentically from a human place I want to cultivate in myself.
Podcast:
This month I really started getting the podcast pieces together. I got my Mac back and started learning audio editing. I read through Pat Flynn's free podcasting guide and got a birds-eye view of the process and necessary steps. The first episode is shaping up well and I've been working both on the episode, the infrastructure for the podcast and the pipeline for getting episodes through from start to finish more efficiently in the future. There are a lot of steps to producing a podcast and I'm learning a lot but it is really slow going. I set up an email for the project and a mailing list. If you know you want to receive an email when we launch our first episode, you can send an email to dadyourewrong@gmail.com and I'll make sure you get added. It will be low frequency and easy to unsubscribe from if you change your mind.
My Goals for November's end-of-month update:
- Publish a blog post about the podcast so that folks know whether they want to be an early listener.
- Publish the first episode
- Appear in all the major podcast distribution channels
- Have 10 people opt-in to our email list to be notified of new episodes
- Have 1 review of our podcast by an early supporter
- Make at least 4 social media posts about the podcast
- Episode 2 audio producing complete and show notes started
- Episode 3 rough edit complete
- Episode 4 raw recording
- Episode 5 & 6 ready for recording
- Organize brainstormed ideas
- Initial Patreon Setup
Project for Awesome:
Project for Awesome is coming up again and this year I want to show up in a powerful way. This month I was looking into research for Raices. Their services are focused in Texas however, and although Texas has great need and Raices is an excellent organization that I frequently support monetarily, I think that selecting a nonprofit that serves immigrants nationwide may have broader appeal with the Project for Awesome audience and thus increase the odds of getting funded. So this year I am going to make a video for Freedom for Immigrants' National Bond Fund.
My Goals for November's end-of-month update:
- Publish a blog post about my history with the Project for Awesome and introducing it to the community.
- Research and outline the points I want to cover in my video
- Write the script for my video
- Publish a blog post about my research, outlining, and script writing process.
- Initial footage for video recorded.
- Research how to do video editing techniques required for video
- Make at least 6 social media posts about the project
Community Project:
My mom and I have been thinking about the ways in which we see community, how it is similar and different from how other people conceptualize it. We think that there are strengths that arose from our circumstances that are not well represented in the self-help space and that the self-help space in general focuses too little on the role of community in their purview. We have fallen off on some of our conversations but we did meet once in October and it really renewed my interest in the project.
My Goals for November's end-of-month update:
- Have met with my mom at least once
- Track down all my notes from previous conversations and organize them
- Make goals for 2020 for the project
Voting:
At time of writing this we already voted but it technically happened in November so I'll be writing more about this in the next Accountability report. One thing that I did do within the bounds of October though was watch the Democratic Presidential Debate. I do feel like each additional debate is yielding fewer returns as far as knowledge about the candidates but with such a large field I also feel like I haven't gotten to a point where I can conceptualize each of them uniquely and fairly so I really appreciate the debates as an opportunity to drive home my feelings about different candidates, both my appreciation and my concerns.
My Goals for November's end-of-month update:
- Research, Vote, Return Ballot - (Already completed)
- Meet with Mom to help her vote - (Already completed)
- Watch the November Presidential debate.
- Write a blog post about Voting as Showing Up
Micro-Volunteering:
I've been trying to get back into micro-volunteering as a way to use spare moments here and there or times when ill to make the world better, even in small ways. Here are a few that I've been working on in October:
- Free Rice: Allows you to practice your vocabulary (or other subjects) and, for correct answers, uses ad revenue to donate rice to the United Nations World Food Programme
- The Hunger Site: Actually a collection of sites that you can visit once per day and ad revenue goes to support. I click through all the sites except the autism site because as an autistic person I am skeptical of the way that the money is being used. I know they have the best of intentions but there are a lot of work being done to autistic people that is quite harmful.
Goals for November's End-of-month update:
- Track down some of the other Microvolunteering I've done over the years and re-evaluate potential for future volunteering opportunities.
- Write a blog post about my history with Microvolunteering and recommended places to get started.
Management:
I spent some time this month researching for how I wanted to fulfill my monetary commitment. As usual, it takes some time to select my Kiva repayment re-loans and this month there was an extra loan to research since my timing allowed me to make an extra loan due to a sponsor special. You can read more about my Kiva process in a blog post I wrote about it. Since the school year has just started I did research and selected a Donors Choose project to support. I also was thinking a lot about the circumstances that caused me to start these commitments in the first place. The incarcerated and detainment of people without cause and in inhumane conditions is unacceptable and horrific. As my depression with some of the aspects of this fight increases I have shifted my focus toward bail bond non-profits. I looked into a few options and selected one that serves residents in the detention center in Tacoma (Fair Fight), and one that serves citizens awaiting trial nationwide (Bail Project). I also decided on a national immigration bond non-profit for my Project for Awesome charity (Freedom for Immigrants).Goals for November's End-of-month update:
- Research and reloan repayments and make a round up loan in Kiva.
- Ensure my Patreon language is up to date with how I changed this commitment.
- Post at least once about my Patreon on Social media.
Blog Post:
This month my blog posts were entirely about accountability. I think that by changing the format of my Time and Effort commitment I should have more time and energy instead of spending so much of it bean counting and reporting. I think these monthly posts are still helpful and I think this new goals focus will help a lot.
My Goals for November's end-of-month update:
Standard:- 1 Money Commitment Accountability Post
- 1 Time / Effort Commitment Accountability Post
From above:
- 1 blog post about the Podcast
- 1 blog post about the Project for Awesome
- 1 blog post about Research, Outline, and Script Writing for Project for Awesome
- 1 blog post about Voting as Showing Up
Additionally:
- Consider, decide, and write about my Christmas plans regarding gift giving
- Brainstorm a list of 10 blog post topics for the future.
Conclusion:
I have set some pretty ambitious goals for myself. It likely won't all get done but having goals will help me stay focused and moving forward. It will provide me motivation and incentive on days when it is hard to make myself work on this. If you've read all this, please let me know in the comments which project you are most excited to see more of.
Tuesday, November 5, 2019
October 2019 Accounting Report: Money
Introduction
For new followers, one of the arms of my "Showing Up" pledge has to do with monetary contributions. I am contributing 10% of my income to solving problems in my communities, local, state, national and global in a range of ways.This month I got my first Patreon supporter so in addition to my wages I also earned $1 with this project.
Base Wages: $4827.83
Overtime Wages: $210.75
Patreon Contributions: $1.00
Total: $5039.54
This gives me a contribution goal of $503.95 this month let's see how that broke down this month. Let me know in the comments if any of the contributions inspired you to take action. All of us showing up, even just a little bit, makes a big difference in aggregate.
Monthly
Patreon: $70
I have many folks that I support on Patreon who are showing up in this fight with their creative works in a wide range of formats and modes of expression. While I don't necessarily support any one contributor significantly, I feel like Patreon is the opportunity for folks to come together and support the work to make things better by following through with showing up in the world as we want it to be.
Unloop: $30
I had forgotten until I was looking at bills this month that I have a recurring donation to Unloop, which I should have mentioned in last months accounting report. Unloop is an organization that goes into prisons and teaches incarcerated people to code. It also supports them on release with finding work and stability as they transition to life on the outside.
Podcast Hosting: $12
I'm working on producing a podcast which I will be talking more about later this week. One of the recurring monthly expenses will be podcast hosting. Since this is service of the other arm of my Showing Up pledge to dedicate time, energy, and talent to addressing problems in my communities, it will count within this tithe.
Kiva: $10.24
You can learn more about my experience with showing up via microloans on Kiva in the blog post I wrote. With the migrant crisis, I am continuing to focus the majority of my microloan efforts in Central America.
This month I helped facilitate the following loans:
Via Repayments getting re-lent:
Sandra Elizabeth, a food seller in El Salvador.
Candida Lorenza, a food seller in El Salvador.
Valentina de la Paz, a weaver in El Salvador.
Federman de Jesus, a construction entrepreneur in Colombia.
Via Bonus for making a qualifying loan during a sponsor matching event:
Madeleine Flaure, a beautician in Cameroon.
Via Rounding Up to the next loan: $10.24
Catherine, a cereal processor in Rwanda
Social Media Giving
Birthday Fundraisers: $82
When I know that I'm going to be contributing 10% over the course of the month. It is easier to just say "Yes" to Birthday fundraisers. It encourages philanthropy within communities by showing buy-in and honors the efforts of folks who want attention they receive on their birthday to go to a good cause.
Note: I have since realized that Facebook Birthday Fundraisers can be used by Facebook as their charitable contributions, so if you are going to do a Birthday Fundraiser, please consider setting one up yourself instead of doing it through Facebook. You can still advertise it on Facebook but this way Facebook gets less opportunity to dodge taxes on your charitable contribution.
Individual Community Needs: $45
A few needs arose among people in my online communities which I contributed to help alleviate.
This Month's Callings
This month I felt called in a couple directions. I felt called to help teachers who need support in their classrooms and to help free people from detainment who do not need to be detained.
Donors Choose: $25
To support classrooms I selected a campaign via Donors Choose to help supply a special education classroom with chairs for circle time so that the environment would be less chaotic as students would not be moving their chairs across the room. Having worked in schools I know how much valuable instruction time is lost due to infrastructure issues in transitions so this campaign to provide the classroom with a durable solution that can be used for years to come seemed like a good investment.
Minnesota Prison Writers Workshop: $25
I learned about the Minnesota Prison Writer's Workshop via a Facebook Ad of all things. Since visiting the prison in Clallam Bay with Unloop, I have really taken to heart the transformative effect of programs in prison which provide opportunity and challenge to come to terms with internal struggles and grapple with authenticity and connection. My experience in writer's workshops and the testimonials from prisoners who are a part of this program leads me to believe that this is a great use of funds dedicated to making the world a better place.
Releasing Prisoners: $204.83
To support releasing folks from unnecessary detainment I contributed to a couple of different Bond Funds. Like with Kiva, Bond Funds are a great return on investment as when the released people show up for their court dates that money gets returned to the fund and gets re-lent out to support even more individuals being released. To support releasing detained neighbors in Tacoma's Northwest Detention Center, I contributed to the Fair Fight Bond Fund. To support releasing citizens charged with crimes but awaiting trial, I donated to The Bail Project.
Looking Ahead
Looking ahead towards November, I know that I'm going to be picking up some equipment for the podcast that I'm editing / producing so that we can have better sound quality as sound quality can make a big difference in listenership. I'm also thinking that releasing prisoners in time for the holidays will likely be a big calling. Additionally the Vlogbrothers Hank and John Green have launched a fundraiser to raise funds for Partners in Health and as someone who identifies with the Nerdfighter community I will will want to take part in that as well.
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